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Bits & Pieces
by Reverend Beverly Owen
“No Worries Mate"
from
Breath of Presence
There's an Aussie and Kiwi saying that's become pretty popular world wide.
"No Worries, mate" is what you often hear when you get a reply from someone you've asked a favor from or shared a concern about something. There may be no worries for the person who just said it, but there are worries for you.
Worries are always around. In this culture, if you're not worrying about something, you're led to believe you're living in a world of denial.
Worries happen at all ages. Infants worry about being fed.. Parents worry about feeding them. Kids worry about getting enough time to play.Teenagers worry about who likes them. Adults worry about finances,relationships, and... well, adults worry about everything!
Worrying has social advantages. It serves as a form of proof that you're responsible, mature, and you care. These are great because you're accepted by the norm, but more interpersonally, worrying does more harm than good.
Worrying creates stress. Worrying creates anxiety. Worrying takes you away from the present moment.
There's a point where worrying can be so exhausting, it can potentially be harmful.
There will come a time when you will think "Enough. I need to stop worrying." You'll be a little angry that you worry so much, but you won't really know how to stop.
Do you know how to stop worrying? Without being in denial? It's hard.
You're not really taught how to stop worrying. But it's important that you do. You want to be healthy. You know that worrying is not.
Here's the old school way to stop worrying:
Write it down in a "To Worry About" journal. Doing this is away of saying you will set aside time to worry. It's a mind trick- it creates the belief that you'll worry about stuff in the future. Then when you come to the time to worry, you are supposed to worry for a set amount of time. Twenty minutes is the recommended amount.
Does it work? No. Why not?
Because you're unconscious mind is too smart! It will create metaphoric reminders to somehow make the future worry time- now, in the moment. You'll have to repeat the thought (way too many times) "I'll worry about it later", which doesn't happen
So what does work?
Most worrying is a mental habit. If you train your brain to be calm, you will reduce your worrying. If you take it to the next level, meaning you train your brain to be peaceful, you'll stop worrying.
Easier said than done!
It will take work, but it's worth it. Here's how you do it.
1) Relieve tension in your body.
Yes, your body! Worrying creates tension. You feel edgy. Somatic psychologists call this "body armoring".You need to do something to move this tension, break it up, and release it. My favorite tension reliever is Yoga. Before Yoga class, I can feel how tight my hips and low back are. During Yoga, I feel the release.
After the class, I feel fully liberated!
2)
Retrain your brain. Life is unpredictable, yet, you create predictions. If you come to terms of accepting uncertainty, you'll live a worry free life. The next time you try to predict something, have a conversation with yourself. Tell your mind that you're going to let go of the need to know the result and that you're going to
accept whatever happens.
This may sound a little scary, but with practice it will bemore familiar and eventually, more comfortable.
The best way to create comfort in uncertainty is to meditate. Meditating will reduce your mind's desire to predict outcomes, create expectations, and think in the negative. Meditating will reduce your amount of worry. The answers that you seek when you worry will be replaced with the conscious clarity that meditation provides.
To stop worrying, you'll need to turn off the "automatic pilot" and turn on the "reality awareness". You'll need to be more present to the moment, distinguish fact from made up in your mind, and shift your perception.
There are many ways to do this. As mentioned before meditation is one way.
There are new acoustic psychology techniques. There is also therapy, coaching, NLP, etc.
The point is that if you care for your body and retrain your brain, you will stop worrying. All you need to do is to apply the techniques, stay committed, dedicated, and disciplined. Doing so will help you feel the changes. You will notice your worry reduce, become less and less, and eventually stop.
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